Along my way

In 35 years of finding my way - I have been a skilled fine artist, I have been an escort with aspirations to become a model, I have been a deli manager, A butchers apprentice, I have been a retail manager, I have been a graphic designer, I have been a skilled laborer, I have been a telemarketer, I have been a loan officer, I have been a Construction Site Surveyor, I have been a pressman, I have been a steel worker.

My accomplishments in these roles have pronounced consequence and many difficulties have reached a desired resolution. Not always the right one, but never the less a direction. The evidence of each move has been induced by financial gain, emotional miscalculations, geographic relocation, temporal satisfactions-dissatisfaction and innovative intrigue.

Along this path I have loved and lost loves, but regained my momentum after each heart wrenching sequester. Not all was lost in the emotional misdirection’s as I am the father of three handsome young men, perhaps Confirmation that amongst failures grand accomplishment cannot be denied.

The course of my direction steered by a childlike wandering, the lack of parental influential guidance and example, coupled by deeply imbedded fears from child hood abuses formulated wavering thought processes, maneuverability towards the quietest direction chosen by the most predictable outcomes.  This formulated thought process began to evolve and mature. I only found the course of needed change when I recognize accomplishments that I admired in others, I wanted these things for my own life’s ambitions.

By the time I took a foot hold on this path my hair had begun to grey perhaps an indicator of wiser times. I found myself in a career of my own choice and again I have found love that would challenge me to be my best man. Amongst my personal assessments I realize self-indulgence and self-righteousness where the catalysts for many past failures. So patience and long suffering would take a seat at the forefront of my thought processes concerning self-discipline. Crippling pride would begin to erode and soften its stance. As I embrace the idea and principles of true love and self-worth. The concept of happiness and the fresh sense of accomplishment reignited my creative side.  Perhaps the scars of an ugly past no longer shut the eyes of my consciousness.

So along my way to this new sense of well-being will perhaps open the doors and windows to good fortune with a rekindled sense of humility.